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Island Pulp Detective: Roger Gooding's Mother, Celia, can only hope

Published by Margaret Sisu in Island Pulp Detective · 5/7/2013 17:27:38
Tags: DetectiveshortstorymysteryhumorRogerGoodingMarciaNude


If Roger had been my first born, he would have been an only child (sigh). He’s always had his own way of doing things, which is fine—but he was always looking for an angle, too, which wasn’t. Once, when he was ten, I told him he could not go out and play with his friends until his homework was done. Half hour later, I heard voices inside the house. When his father and I went to check, Roger had his friends inside his bedroom, and one of them was doing his homework for him, at which time he pointed out that I said he couldn’t go out but never said that they couldn’t come in. And apparently I didn’t explicitly say how the homework was to get done. Do you see why he would have made a good lawyer? I spend a lot of time praying for that boy and his father—may he rest in peace—well, he spent a lot of time shaking just his head.
Roger went and married that Sheraline woman. It always struck me that there was more to that one than meets the eye but he was besotted and she did have good child-bearing hips. Can't say I'm sorry that she's out of the picture but I’m still waiting for a grandchild. Still, Roger is a fine looking man. I see women giving him the eye all the time but I know there’s someone extra special out there and that one day he’ll find her and stop tom-catting around, settle down and get serious, and I’ll get a little grandbaby.
      But for now, this private investigation thing seems to make him happy so I guess there’s nothing I can do but keep praying he stays out of trouble. Thankfully, yesterday he said that his next client is in Holetown—the West Coast!—so it must be someone fairly elite. I mean, the
Platinum Coast is all about the rich and the famous, isn’t it? So he’s bound to be rubbing elbows with a better quality of person…isn’t he?

                                               (Look for ‘No Damn Good’)

Island Pulp Detective: Dainty but Deadly Marcia ‘takes care of business’

Published by Margaret Sisu in Island Pulp Detective · 24/6/2013 14:30:22
Tags: DetectiveshortstorymysteryhumorRogerGoodingMarciaNude

I was hired to handle the paper work and as office security. Petite womendon’t look particularly intimidating but that’s the whole point. In just the first few weeks, though, I realized that my job at Good Investigations included making sure we weren't evicted or that the electricity wasn’t cut off.  
       I don’t understand my boss. He finds missing property, gets corrupt businessmen to come clean; he has even uncovered killers. But when it comes to women, his brain slows right down and either he can’t figure out a damn thing, or it takes him forever to do it. I have a bet going with myself how long it will take him to discover how his ex-wife lives so fancy on what he pays in alimony (I know how much he pays, but he doesn’t know that I know.) He owes me plenty back pay but she gets her check right on time every month, otherwise the telephone rings and he breaks out in a sweat. I’m not ready to make him sweat even more just yet—
but it might be best if he doesn't try my patience.
       As for the ex-Mrs. Roger Gooding--a few weeks ago, I happened to be walking behind her in the supermarket and she was on her phone booking a flight, telling the person at the other end that she wanted her usual one month stay, at her usual hotel. Hotel!
       For a minute, I considered a direct appraoch—following her outside, getting her a
sleeper hold, and pelting her into the trunk of my car. Unfortunately the boss would probably get upset if she just disappeared. He would never admit it, not even to himself, but he’s still a little in love with her. So I’ll let him do it his way.
       Besides, I haven’t done that sort of thing in a couple years. For all I know, I could be losing my edge.

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